Keeping It Real

During my first season with SFB, most of my dancing opportunities were one shot deals and I had only one chance to get it right. But this season is different; I was scheduled to dance six of the seven shows of Ibsen’s House for Program 2. Finally rid of the stress of only having one show to prove myself and to make everything perfect, now I was faced with one of the most exciting and thrilling challenges that an artist can be given: how to recreate a performance.

Taking a break

Opening night was a blast; I danced with a confidence and commitment that made every breath and movement come alive for me. I was dancing with the knowledge that I wouldn’t have just one opportunity to dance this ballet and make something of it. In fact, I would have at least five other performances – not just to get it right, but to give it a chance to grow and ripen into a delicious experience to remember for the rest of my life. Upon reflection I realize there may be a million and one techniques for creating spontaneity in something that has been rehearsed for several months, however, it all boils down to “being present.”

Our culture and society has taught us to rely on habit in order to survive the day and accomplish all the mundane tasks expected of us. But habits are deceptive because we never experience the same moment twice, ever. So, no activity is ever the same as the last time it was executed. Habit can lead to a poor execution of the task at hand.

In performance there is this contradiction, a paradox even, of relying on muscle memory and habit to execute the steps, but needing to bring awareness to the uniqueness of the moment. That is the idea behind presence. I faced this challenge over the past two weeks and I would say that for the most part, I succeeded in at least making the experience new for myself each time, while maintaining consistency of execution, for my partner at least. I wish I could dance Ibsen’s House a hundred more times in the present–with a hundred more paradoxes of same and different.